I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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