How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
