What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.