Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.