I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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