Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
