So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
