"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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