No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize