That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
