I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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