If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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