Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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