Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
