And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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