I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
