Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
