what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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