WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize