i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
