I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
