Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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