brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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