I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
