Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
