anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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