Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
