i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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