I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
