the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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