the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
