he puts the penis in happiness.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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