But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Vodka?
Forever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
