Is it because I queefed?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
