good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize