And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
