yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
