All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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