The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
