why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will be naked everywhere
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
