life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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