can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
