Don't you send me to vm
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
