Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
