bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
