i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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