the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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