Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
