Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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