Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
