Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize