i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Small penises have feelings too.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
