Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize