JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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