remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
