I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
