Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
