I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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