So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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