that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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