I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
