:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
