Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
porn star boner night. come get it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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