Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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