And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
