i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
